Every single time I visit my 87-yr old grandma I love her a little more… A lot, actually. She’s the most amazing grandma I know, still living by herself besides being close to blind. She cooks, she bakes, she still makes the best cookies, her own delicious marmelades and yummie chutneys between the countless appointments she spends at doctors and in hospitals. She insists saving money for “bad times” and “the days I’ll be old”, which in reality is a code for not wanting to spend a cent of it but to leave it to us, her grand children. She goes on holidays in the hills with the few remaining friends and tells waiters off passionately when she thinks the food being served is crap. She even continues to look after her garden herself!!
Every time I’m with her I wonder how long I will have the pleasure of her company. And I guess, it’s for this consciousness of our times together being limited and therefore prescious that I suddenly don’t mind hearing the same stories over and over again. As a matter of fact, I nowadays make an effort of discovering a new detail in each one of them. And since doing that, I regularly hear bits & pieces I didn’t know. We laugh a lot more than we used to, we argue less and every time I come back from seeing her, I’m happy as Larry.
It hasn’t always been like this. I used to really want to go and see her regularly but all too often I pushed it out by another week, another month. Too busy, too important the other things I was doing… Funny, I catch myself thinking. What’s the difference that made the difference? Am I doing work that’s less important now? Do I care less for the vision I chose to mobilize energy for? Or is it the fact that I am blessed with working alongside a business partner who’s focused on the purpose behind our project rather than the all-too-common results orientation??
My old patterns of distress still raise their ugly head. But I choose family affairs, time with friends, my health and happines more often than “work” matters these days when thinking time doesn’t seem enough for it all. I read the notes from Kalyan’s encounter with Prof. Venkat R. Krishnan who teaches transformational leadership using the Upanishads (see http://awalkonthetangent.com/?p=82) and I dare saying “yes” to my happiness, to my needs and wants – sometimes based on a whim, sometimes not. But what’s best of all, her happiness is mine, my happiness is hers. And here I am back at my desk, smiling and content, productive and recharged… Thank you, granny!!! Thank you, K.!!
just want to say i have beter feelings every time i read things good! Funny how many of us realise this late in life.
Thank you for sharing this. I guess, I was a little late realising this too. Or at least I’m kind of in-and-out of the phases where I give these things enough importance. Better late than never though